Today I will not…

..ask the ladies with their precious snowflake daughters why their children aren’t able to walk in to school from a parking space if they aren’t willing to go inside to wait. Every morning these spoiled princesses park in front of the school and block the way for the parents who just want to let their kids out and go. This is HIGH SCHOOL not kindergarten. And if you just have to spend a few extra minutes putting on makeup, do it somewhere else! My kingdom for a tow truck!

Arrgh!

Today I will not…

..PIT (it’s a police term – check it out) the lady who thought it was safest to merge onto I-85 at 45mph instead of either the speed limit of 65mph or the 75 mph speed of the GIANT FREAKING SEMI coming up our collective butts. I am almost certain the cops would sympathize with me and believe it was completely justified if I shoved her out of the way.

Ugh.

Today I will not…

..flip off and wish down curses on the people who didn’t lower their high beams when they met me running tonight. Cars aren’t some magical vessel that causes blindness in the driver when strong light is shined upon them. The high beams blind me just the same. What I wouldn’t give for a giant floodlight to return the favor with.

Hmmph.

Today I will not…

..turn in the State Trooper who did nothing while the jerk in the Jeep flew down the shoulder of the highway, passing all of the rest of us stuck in traffic, politely and LAW-ABIDINGLY waiting our turn to go. I couldn’t wait for him to get what he deserved, but he got nothing.

A-holes. Both of them.

Today I will not…

..leave a nasty note on the car of the lady who almost ran me down as I pushed my Sam’s Club-loaded cart through the parking lot. Apparently I was supposed to know she was turning into the parking space even though she had no turn signal on and turned and accelerated into the space suddenly as I started to walk across in front of it. Of course she glared at me for getting in her way.

I had no idea Sam’s Club paid even their “Employee of the Month” (for whom the space was reserved, and I assume this lady would never park where she shouldn’t) enough to drive a Lexus.

Bitch.